However, we know from our work with marriages that situations exist where the wife dominates or controls the husband.īecause so many controlling or dominating people tend to dismiss complaints from their spouses, I supply the quotes below with two goals. Therefore, all quotes in the next section are from women. Unfortunately, only females responded to the survey. Though not exhaustive, the survey indicated at least nine areas in which people feel controlled or dominated by their spouses. However, their spouses feel anger, resentment, and sometimes bitterness because of the way they have been treated.īecause this problem prevails in so many marriages, I placed a survey online for people who feel that their spouses control or dominate them. I wasn’t controlling I was trying to make my marriage work.įrom their viewpoint, they did nothing wrong. I think I have a right to have her take care of me and my needs rather than always running off to do any and everything her family wants from her.Isn’t it fair for me to say what I think? I was only standing up for what I believe and I can’t help it if that offends him.If I let her do what she wanted, our kids would be wearing hand-me-downs. If I didn’t control the money, she’d send us into the poor house.I never meant to make him feel bad about himself. I admit that I can be a little harsh in the way I say things, but that’s just the way I am.
I thought I was helping by pointing out things she could do better.As they become aware of their husband or wife’s negative reactions to them, they typically justify their behaviors by explaining their intentions. From our workshops, we know that most controlling or dominating spouses have little comprehension of how their actions affect their spouses. Though in actuality the marriage has been in trouble for some time, the other spouse did not recognize the severity of the problem. All have one thing in common: they demand a different life than the one they have been subjected to in their marriages. Others fell into an emotional relationship with someone who treated them with dignity and respect. They took a stand and made it clear that if things do not change the marriage will soon be over. Some controlled or dominated spouses finally had enough and decided not to take it any longer. One of the most common difficulties leading couples to us is one spouse controlling or dominating the other. In our turnaround weekend for crisis marriages, we see them all infidelity, addiction, poor communication, lack of love, anger, and more. Marriages become distressed for a variety of reasons.
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